dear brittany and christa.

remember when i was at work one day? and there was a dead bird out front, and so me and my friend decided we should probably get rid of it so it wouldn't drive all the customers away. so i got a plastic bag and scooped the bird into it, and took it out to the dumpster, and set it on a pile of boxes in the corner, where it was easily accessible. then later that night, we decided we'd do something with it. so we drove around to the back of the ups store and got out and grabbed the dead bird from the dumpster. it smelled so bad, so we had to hang it out the window on the way to jamba juice. so anyway, we get there, and we decide to put it on bigelow's antanna of her car. so christa snuck up and skewered the bird on the antanna. it was sick. but funny, because there was just a dead bird at the top of her antanna. then i don't remember exactly what happened, but i kind of remember her not noticing until one of us was talking to her on the phone later that night or something... i forget. but it turns out the bird wasn't removed from the antanna and her parents took the car out on their date the next night. so they just had a dead bird attatched to their car. funny. but gross. i can't believe us. yes i can.

dear bigelow.

remember when you came to visit me at work one day? and i had those real life hand cuffs that preston ford gave to me for making sbo. and i was just playing with them, and i ended up handcuffing you. and then i realized that the key was in my backpack, which was at my house. ha ha. that was funny. i think you may have been a little upset. so we had to call my mom and have her bring the key to us so you could be un-handcuffed. oh boy. that was great.

dear bigelow and brittany.

remember wendy's?! ha ha ha ha ha! i don't think i've ever laughed harder in my life. as i'm sure you both remember with crystal clarity, we were sitting in a booth, just eating and minding our own business. well... me and brittany were. bigelow, however, was flirting with a sixth grade boy sitting at the table through the window. ha ha. she couldn't see the dad sitting there because there was a window in the way or something. so she decided she would be funny and hit the glass on the window and scare the kid. but unfortunately she didn't now her own strength, and she completely knocked the glass out of the pane, and it fell flat onto the little family's entire meal. then she definitely saw the dad, because he was furious. and he told her to go tell the people that she broke their window. so she went up to the counter. in the mean time, brittany and i were both trying SO hard not to laugh. but it was hard, and so awkward because the guy was just like sitting there looking at us. and we could totally tell that the kid and his sister were trying not to laugh too. it was so funny. so bigelow comes back because there was nobody at the counter, and just put the window back in the pane, and walked out of the restaurant and sat on the grass in front of the car until me and brittany were done eating. oh man. it was great.

dear brittany and bigelow.

remember when brittany's car wouldn't start or something? ...i don't remember exactly why we were doing this, but we flintstoned it around the school parking lot. it was just one day after school and we had our feet out the door pushing it around. it feels like we were doing that for forever... please remind me why. but it was funny. and then brittany called me kyle, and that became my new name.

dear austen and bigelow.

remember sophomore year every day at lunch when austen would sit down next to bigelow and drink a whole carton of milk, then get up and walk away?

dear christa, bigelow, brittany and austen.

remember when we were playing murder in the dark at bigelow's house? and first i got out, and so i went and sat on the couch. then christa got out, and she came and sat on the couch with me. and bigelow, brittany, and austen were all sitting there FOREVER and nobody was getting out. then finally christa leaned over and whispered to me that she was the murderer and got herself out. so everyone else was just sitting there waiting for the murderer to start, but the murderer was christa. it was the best.

dear christa, brittany, bigelow, and jessie.

remember when we went on an adventure through the wilderness surrounding my house? and then christa had to pee, so she was going to try to pee off the bridge. but it kind of didn't work out and she just ended up peeing her pants. and then she sat down in the river to try and rinse out. so she sat down and just kind of swished around a little... wow. what an adventure. and brittany cut herself on barbed wire. and then we went to the back yard of the mexican cock fighters. that was kinda creepy. it was all dark and foreboding. and then we went back to my house and before i let christa come in i went and asked my mom if it was alright if she did, because she wet her pants. but she let her. ha ha, it was so great.

dear bigelow.

remember daybreak? and i peed in the tunnel. and then we watched lightning from on top of the metal pavillion... not the smartest idea, but the lighting wasn't close enough to kill us. then you were hanging from the pavillion by your stomach, and you almost peed your pants? that was so much fun.

dear brittany, bigelow, and andrew.

remember when we were in my gameroom playing asap? and andrew was coming over, and it was summer so we had the door open with just the screen door shut. so i told andrew just to come around to the back door. so we continued playing asap, minding our own business. eventually andrew got there, but we didn't know he was there yet. he snuck around to the back door where we told him to come in, and thought that the door was just wide open, so he decided he'd come bursting in and scare us or something. at least that's what it seemed like he was trying to do. but he didn't realize that the screen was there, so he did come bursting in, crashing into the screen door and causing it to explode all over the place. not literally, but it came out of the door frame and was all over. and his face was the best. he was so surprised. we laughed so hard for so long... dang. funny.

dear bigelow.

remember when i choked on some steak at your house? it's all because of my skinny esophagus... your whole family was there having dinner. i wasn't really choking, but it got stuck in my throat so i tried drinking some water to wash it down, and it kind of didn't work. so the water came back up and i spit it back into my cup, and it gathered all the food chunks still in my mouth, so my water was all nasty looking. that part was embarrassing. so i got up, my eyes watering and everything, and went to your bathroom and locked the door so i could regergitate it... gross, i know. but then i heard someone from outside say, "is he choking?" and someone else was like, "yeah, i'm sure if he was choking he'd lock himself in the bathroom." ha ha, i was laughing, with steak stuck in my throat and everything. it was hilarious.

dear bigelow.

remember the night before you moved away to college? when we decided to go for a bike ride at like 12:30 am. that was the best bike ride of my life. it was great fun. and we rode around stampin up, and that cemetery memorial place. and then down that dirt road in the field, and then through those people's back yard. fun.

dear brittany, bigelow, jessie, and andrew

remember when we floated down the river in a swimming pool? we couldn't find any tubes, so we bought a pool from walmart. it took about an hour to blow it up with our measly lungs, but we achieved sufficient buoyance.

then we took it out on the little pond thing, and it was FREEZING. and bigelow splashed me with mud and made me upset. but i got over it. then we went up the canyon and finally found the canal thing after like an hour of looking for it. so we got in and started floating and life was great... for a little while. there were these... women... on tubes that we came across. i don't remember exactly what happened, it was all a blur, but i remember that it was all their fault that our swimming pool popped. but we thought it was no big deal, and the three other sections of our vessel would keep us afloat. eventually, water started coming in. ice cold water. it was pure pain. especially when rocks hit our butts. ouch. and then all heck broke loose when bigelow started peeing in the water that we were sitting in. jessie literally stood up and ran to the other side of the pool, pushing the bottom of the pool down farther, so that we all were bombarded on our bottoms by sharp river stones. finally we got out and blew it up some more, then finished our journey down the river. it was great. my favorite part was when the rope was hanging from a cliff wall above us, and i yelled, GRAB IT! so jessie tried her hardest to grab it, and we were all desperate to get a hold of the rope, and she finally got it, but the current was too strong and it slipped out of her hand. and then we realized... how would grabbing the rope even help? it was pointless, but i'm so glad we tried so hard.

dear bigelow, christa, and andrew.

remember new years eve when we sledded down the icy hill on the air mattress? and after going down like twice, andrew almost got his car towed. oops. then we had to keep pumping the mattress up every time we walked back up the hill, and then we finally were smart enough to think, hey... maybe there's holes in it and that's why it keeps going flat. so we flipped it over and discovered like 4 giant gashes in the bottom. and we just thought we were all fat and pushing the air out of who knows where. Silly us. That was fun. but the last run down the hill almost killed me... ouch. i kind of don't like remembering that part.